I’m no good at games. But this one I will play.

1. I’m a closet thanatologist, an obsession which may have been cemented by being made to watch the cremation of Indira Gandhi live on TV when I was 9.

2. Stanley Kubrick altered the structure of my 11-year-old brain with the bone/spaceship cut in 2001.


3. My parents suspected I was myopic when I started squinting to watch Starsky and Hutch at the age of six. [To get the effect, screw up your eyes, and play the clip below.]


4. I asked my father to post a letter I had written to Jim’ll Fix It asking to be taken round the Batman suit factory. Jim never fixed it for me, and to this day, I suspect that my father never posted the letter.

5. When I worked as a runner on a TV show called The White Room, I ironed Paul Weller‘s trousers (click the clip below to see that razor-crease in action), made The Charlatans some sandwiches, wouldn’t let Bryan Adams use the phone, and nearly got sacked for asking Sinead O’Connor to sign the back of my T-shirt (never washed since).


They’ve all been tagged already. So I tag nobody. Well, OK, one person.